This blog was started to write about the journeys I took myself off on a few years ago.
I haven’t done so many physical journeys over the last couple of years but all of a sudden this evening I realised I’ve been on a big internal journey. And I think I should share that journey, incase it sparks something for someone else.
Today is Valentine’s day and for the first time in a long time I don’t feel sad about that or like I need to stay hidden in my house for the night. I’ve cooked myself a nice dinner, been for a long walk on the beach, enjoyed a wine and am, now writing this.
On New Years Eve I was flying back to New Zealand after a few days in Melbourne with my sister and daughter and I landed in New Zealand at 10pm. So in a hotel room I actually saw the New Year in for the first time in years with a feeling although I didn’t really know why this was going to be an amazing year.
It’s taken over 20 years and I’ve been on a long journey to finally accepting and realising that your life is not made more valuable or less valuable because of a partner. Your life is made the most valuable by loving yourself and being there for yourself. You can’t do right by other people in your life if you are not there for yourself.
New Years Eve and Valentine’s Day are two of the days I normally pretend don’t exist. But this year without realising it or telling myself too, I have realised I have a completely different reference point right now for my own place within these events- man or no man.
It is sometimes a couples world out there- you go somewhere and feel out of place, or you fear you were not included in something because you are not part of a couple. But actually it’s ok that sometimes its like that. Couple deserve to create their own happiness just as much as single people do.
Believing in yourself, loving yourself is our first and most important job. Rather than being envious of what others have, I’ve realised that I’ve actually become much happier of late for the people I love when I see them in great relationships. We all deserve happiness regardless and we are all responsible for our own happiness.As Veronica Shoffstall said in the poem- After a While- which I have often read and used:
“After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security…”
The poem goes on to finish with:
“So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers…… And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn….”
It is sometimes a couples world out there- you go somewhere and feel out of place, or you fear you were not included in something because you are not part of a couple. But actually it’s ok that sometimes its like that. Couple deserve to create their own happiness just as much as single people do.
Believing in yourself, loving yourself is our first and most important job. Rather than being envious of what others have, I’ve realised that I’ve actually become much happier of late for the people I love when I see them in great relationships. We all deserve happiness regardless and we are all responsible for our own happiness.As Veronica Shoffstall said in the poem- After a While- which I have often read and used:
“After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security…”
The poem goes on to finish with:
“So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers…… And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn….”
Powerful words.
So Happy Valentines to everyone out there- the couples who make each others life better by being in each other's lives as well as those people who make their own lives better by loving themselves.
And to those who are still caught in the trap of thinking life will be better if only you have someone to share it with. There are lots of ways to share your life. There are lots of ways to love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Practice gratitude for all the things in your life that add value. Of course we would all love nothing more than to find that special someone we can share our live with. But if we take many years to find them, or if we never do, our life can still be fulfilling, we still have worth and we can all live fulfilling happy lives.
So Happy Valentines to everyone out there- the couples who make each others life better by being in each other's lives as well as those people who make their own lives better by loving themselves.
And to those who are still caught in the trap of thinking life will be better if only you have someone to share it with. There are lots of ways to share your life. There are lots of ways to love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Practice gratitude for all the things in your life that add value. Of course we would all love nothing more than to find that special someone we can share our live with. But if we take many years to find them, or if we never do, our life can still be fulfilling, we still have worth and we can all live fulfilling happy lives.
This IS powerful. An incredibly important message. Thanks for sharing your heart, Karyn.
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